I've been having a difficult time sleeping. Rather, it seems as if I'm sleeping- but I don't feel rested most of the time- I think I'm winning marathons and befriending dragons in my "dreams".

I always try to focus on the "bright side" of my mom's passing...that she is now out of pain and actually WON the battle she had been fighting for the last 6 months of her life. It just still hurts me so badly.

In the last 6 months of my mothers life, she was told she had lung cancer, went thru radiation treatment (which burned a tunneling hole thru her chest), chemo treatment, massive swelling of her face and limbs due to lymphodema, NUMEROUS hospital stays, pneumonia, her lung collapsing, loss of hair, appetite and energy, bed sores, as well as shock, stress, depression of this diagnosis of terminal illness.

Thursday, we were told my mother should be feeling better within 24 hours- as the Dr's were giving her anti-biotic for her 2nd bout with pneumonia- as well as the staph infection she had developed.
Friday morning the Dr. called saying the anti-biotic was not strong enough and my mother may not last thru the day...

It hurts to know that the last 6 months of my mother’s life were filled with such pain. I think this is what breaks my heart the most.