Thursday, March 17, 2005


The last photo I took with my mom before she passed away.
She had lost most of her hair-but the wig looks like her own..
Although I miss her like crazy- she comes to me- when I ask for her help- she shines thru- and most nights she incorporates herself in my dreams....
Watching someone die is the worst experince in the World. And the most amazing gift you can ever recieve-to be there in the final moments of life-to hold the hand as the blood stops moving thru the veins...as the last breath is exhaled...as the lips turn blue...then purple...
And you realize (have to) that the body in front of you -that gave birth to you-rased you- and tried to do the best it could towards you- is no longer the inhabitent of the Soul you loved...and will soon be burried or burned...
The circle that comes around.
Those who have not been with someone while they pass will never know this experience...
My mother still wakes me up most nights - as she brings herself to my dreamland..
I'm trying mom-and I appreciate you caring so much about me.
Grief is a life long process...but I feel my mother is trying to help me cope.
and I love her for that.
thanks mom!
I only hope I show the strength that she did.
love continues on.
always and forever.

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