I am awash in many thoughts feelings and emotions...
My life will never be the same.
Everything is "new" for the first time...
The first time without my mother existing in this world...
I can no longer rely on the comfort, support of just knowing my mother is a phone call away...
I have been realizing this for the last few months, however to visit her gravesite is a pounding reality.
My mother is dead. No longer a living being. She will age no more, have no more experiences in life.
She continues to live thru me, as she is a larger part of me than I ever realized before. I wonder if she ever looked at me and saw herself...I believe she must have as I look at myself...hands...heart and see her.
We do live on thru one another, but I miss her so...