Perhaps I focus on the negative.....

The Idiot who lives above me came home last week after being away for about 3 weeks. I can NOT tell you how wonderfully QUITE it was in my room with him gone! Last night, he was up to his old tricks...playing music loud..walking around constently..I really believe I am going to pull him down to my room one day- let him HEAR how the Hell loud it is when he plays his music. I generally don't say anything to him, however, when the music is being played past 11:30pm- THAT really pisses me off. It is as if I am playing the music in my room- and I NEVER even play my music as loud as he does! He started in with Big Band music at 11:34pm last night- loud and I called him and tried to politely ask him to TURN THE MUSIC DOWN, he apologized and then said goodnight- hmmm...goodnight would entail that I were actually ABLE to sleep!! The music continued at a lower level for a while- then the Melatonin that I have become addicted to finally kicked in and I went to sleep....for a little while...
At close to 1am the music was back on- at a lower level, but I could still hear it- as well as him walking around his room constantly (THIS interreges me in a way, as I wonder how the Hell HE has space to walk around so much- as I DON'T and we have the same size room...). Finally, the music stopped- and I noticed that the POWER had gone out...there was no noise- such as the fan I always have running in an attempt to drown out the noise of the idiot roommates as well as the idiot above me.

It frustrates me so because I think- HOW OLD AM I that I have to deal with the idiot roommates, as well as the idiot upstairs?!! My sleep schedule seems to be dependent upon what time THEY decide to be quite and go to sleep-OR on how quickly the melatonin kicks in...

I often think of living alone- in my own apartment- but I simply DO NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY to be able to do that (THIS is one reason I am so pissed that I can not receive my review so that I may ATTEMPT to increase my salary so that I may ATTEMPT to live as an ADULT). I think of the fact that I compromise things for other things- I compromise and live with 2 Idiot roommates, and 1 who isn’t' so bad...I compromise because I don't have enough money in order to live elsewhere- or do I?! I suppose I possibly COULD live in a place where half of my paycheck goes to rent...but the insecurity of that (what if I were laid off?!- what if there were an emergency in which I needed to have money -such as my mom right now-at least at this point, I can afford to pay for a ticket to go home to see her) scares me...
I choose.
We all choose, at least in some fashion or another.
Then I realize- I am focusing on the negative....and I have chosen some of those negatives in my life...