Some nights I can’t sleep after I’ve tried…
Others I have fear of sleeping…

While I feel sleep to be one of the most important aspects of mental and physical health, sometimes I am afraid of it. Sometimes my attempts make me want to magically take a pill to make me “regenerated” so that I can avoid the trip to the sub-conscious (which mostly plagues me with death and worry).

But I am smart enough to know that eventually it will all catch up with me…with all of us…

At this time, my mind is filled with death- and death is not a bad word- it only equals the other end of life. However, most of us have not had a religion that expressed death as a natural part of living…Hell, isn’t that what happens to us all? (not Hell, but death).

We all WILL die. Why is it such a sad, depressing, difficult subject to discuss? I want and NEED to at this time in my LIFE understand this.

I know one day the body I call “myself” will die. However, when I ATTEMPT to think of myself as dead- I can’t. I am one who believes in the energy of this planet..of this universe…and I do not feel I will ever dissipate- (no one’s soul will- the thoughts, and loves will continue on...) I may change form- and it may be for the best- as my “human form” cannot withstand the longevity of my soul….of who I TRULY am in essence... in thought. I believe I will exist in some form…I don’t know which- but I believe we continue on in some form or another (not reincarnation. perhaps we will just not exist on the planet Earth any longer). We exchange our vehicles. I believe this because if one simply tries to vision the world without their energy- it doesn’t work.. The equation fails. HOW can the universe ever be without the energy each person, plant or animal supplied to it? I equate it to each drop of water…it may evaporate…or be drank..but it’s still around –doing something..there is an effect.

This of course seems much more difficult to accept when death happens to a body...a colaboration of thoughts and feelings of love other than your own…

But….

We all affect.

We all exist and we all (are) matter.

The form we take is a vessel…we are not the essence of that vessel. We are the essence of our feelings..actions..and of love.

And Love continues after death.