My girlfriend ordered this book for me. It fascinates me because I agree that only two genders are not enough. Out of 6 billion people in this word, we have to be male or female, and try to identify ourselves as such. If you cross the “line”, where someone else cannot easily identify you as one or the other, you are deviant and considered a “freak” or “queer”.
I think I prefer being called “Boo” rather than my “real” name because it is unidentifiable as a gender name.
I’ve had many experiences of being referred to as “he” or “sir” because of the length of my hair. Someone else’s limited idea that women have long hair, boys have short, caused me to be mis-genderized. Or did it. I’ve always felt a bit “ambiguous” and certainly never fit into the womanly role. Even as a little-Girl, 12 years old with long blond hair- the neighbor children, after having played with me for weeks, asked me if I was a boy or a girl. They identified me as “Boo” and that name not having a specific gender attached seems to have “confused” them. My response to them was “what do You think I am?” They then answered “a girl”.
At times the gender confusion has hurt my feelings- why don’t people know what I am?? Why do people have to ask me? I even had a teacher who-when counting the boys and girls in class would Always get the number wrong…she was always One off. I had long hair back then…why did I get confused for a boy?
Even at gay clubs I used to go to, I was asked if I was a girl or a boy…”what would you like me to be?” I would respond. All of this confusion doesn’t have to do with my sexuality. This is about who or what I present to people.
These interactions, although they seem small have stuck with me. I couldn’t understand why others were confused by me…especially when I had long girl hair. Why couldn’t I fit into an identifiable gender?
This book helps give me “permission” not to fit. And it feels good.

What do people, upon returning from Burning Man do....

Oh, I know......

NOTHING..for days on end
They are so worn out from trying to make a statement...and not working...that they need to rest....

Kelly won!
and you know what, she deserved to win!
It almost makes me proud to be an American...because it wasn't about sex-appeal...it was about talent!

I thought I might receive a call from the person ignoring me..just to say, hey, alright...your girl won...
but no....

I think he may at this point think I influenced people to vote "against" his not as talented boy...

Like I said...a good time to net-work for friends...

I'm still glad she won...

Did I mention I am being ignored?

Did you hear me??!!- I said I’m being ignored!!!!
Not by you of course….it’s by one of the people I’ve known longest in my life, and moved out here to the Bay Area with.
This is due to the fact that I have a different opinion than he does, about our potential American Idol.
I guess I am not supposed to vocalize my opinion if it differs from his.
I’ve called him, left messages, and sent him email…no reply.
I would chalk it up to paranoia…or having a nervous breakdown..but he does this to me a lot.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to his wacked out opinion on things and let him have them. I don’t ignore him because he doesn’t agree with me, I realize everyone can have their own thoughts and it doesn’t lessen me as a person if they are not the same as mine.

Yeah, I really need to net work for some new friends..

A co-worker of mine told me I was in her dream last night.

She said I was having a nervous breakdown.....

Does that mean she thinks I'm crazy??

East Bay Pride is weird…and if it wasn’t for the bands, I feel there would be no reason to go…
The band I played in was scheduled to go on at 3p, however, the drummer from the band before us was MIA, and we were asked to switch places with them. Granted there were not many people there, however switching times kind of threw me off a bit. I had planned on finishing at least one beer before we had to play…
As I sat behind the set, I knew I was in trouble. There was a double kick attached to the bass drum that was just in my way. I tried to move the pedal over, but I couldn’t take it off as I didn’t have a drum-key on me (note to self- don’t leave home without a drum-key!). The cymbals were all set up around this double kick bar, and I couldn’t get them close enough, or in the right angle to me.
Don’t have much time- hurry and play something…
We started in on the first song, and that’s when I knew it was going to be shit. I couldn’t hear the mix. They had a monitor behind me, but it wasn’t’ on..Therfore all the lead guitar, vocals and bass were being drowned out by the incredibly high feedback I Could hear coming from the rhythm guitar’s amp. I was even having a hard time hearing the drums I was hitting.
I thought the performance sucked, but at least there were not many people around to watch us…
After playing I saw Jared and crew for a short while, then I went back to help load the equipment back into the van. I tried finding them after loading was complete, but to no avail.
I came back to the “alternative” stage and fell in love with this band!! What a fun, nice band, and their drummer is amazing! Their version of Maniac kicks serious ass!
Later in the day, they played. Now, I’ve seen them a few times before, and unfortunately, their “shtick” does not change. But their energy is phenomenal and can make up for the irritating shtick.
The drummer amazes me, as she plays “rock” style, with a bit of jazz thrown in. I decided that after their set, I would make my move…
I approached her “backstage”, tried to sound a bit “professional” asked her about her stage experience, if She could hear the other musicians .blah, blah, blah…trying to show that I’m not a stalker, and not trying to pick her up.
I asked if she had ever thought about giving drum lessons, for I thought she was a great drummer. She said that she used to but that “she studied years to get to the level she’s at”. I guess that means she wouldn’t be available for the Years of teaching that I would require to get anywhere near her skill-level…
Anyway, she asked for my contact information. I wrote it down (on top of an ice-box, so it looks like I’m retarded…or really drunk), she took it, and I asked for hers…she told me to email her at their web-site (ummm….can you formulate the word “NO”?).
I wonder what it is about me that these women drummers are afraid of….this is the second one who has been evasive with me when I’ve asked for lessons. Are they that egotistical that they think I’m hitting on them rather than enamored by their drumming ability?
After I was rejected, I found my way to BART and held my breath as I re-entered the city.

I think I’ll wait at least another year to go back to the East Bay.