Perhaps I focus on the negative.....

The Idiot who lives above me came home last week after being away for about 3 weeks. I can NOT tell you how wonderfully QUITE it was in my room with him gone! Last night, he was up to his old tricks...playing music loud..walking around constently..I really believe I am going to pull him down to my room one day- let him HEAR how the Hell loud it is when he plays his music. I generally don't say anything to him, however, when the music is being played past 11:30pm- THAT really pisses me off. It is as if I am playing the music in my room- and I NEVER even play my music as loud as he does! He started in with Big Band music at 11:34pm last night- loud and I called him and tried to politely ask him to TURN THE MUSIC DOWN, he apologized and then said goodnight- hmmm...goodnight would entail that I were actually ABLE to sleep!! The music continued at a lower level for a while- then the Melatonin that I have become addicted to finally kicked in and I went to sleep....for a little while...
At close to 1am the music was back on- at a lower level, but I could still hear it- as well as him walking around his room constantly (THIS interreges me in a way, as I wonder how the Hell HE has space to walk around so much- as I DON'T and we have the same size room...). Finally, the music stopped- and I noticed that the POWER had gone out...there was no noise- such as the fan I always have running in an attempt to drown out the noise of the idiot roommates as well as the idiot above me.

It frustrates me so because I think- HOW OLD AM I that I have to deal with the idiot roommates, as well as the idiot upstairs?!! My sleep schedule seems to be dependent upon what time THEY decide to be quite and go to sleep-OR on how quickly the melatonin kicks in...

I often think of living alone- in my own apartment- but I simply DO NOT MAKE ENOUGH MONEY to be able to do that (THIS is one reason I am so pissed that I can not receive my review so that I may ATTEMPT to increase my salary so that I may ATTEMPT to live as an ADULT). I think of the fact that I compromise things for other things- I compromise and live with 2 Idiot roommates, and 1 who isn’t' so bad...I compromise because I don't have enough money in order to live elsewhere- or do I?! I suppose I possibly COULD live in a place where half of my paycheck goes to rent...but the insecurity of that (what if I were laid off?!- what if there were an emergency in which I needed to have money -such as my mom right now-at least at this point, I can afford to pay for a ticket to go home to see her) scares me...
I choose.
We all choose, at least in some fashion or another.
Then I realize- I am focusing on the negative....and I have chosen some of those negatives in my life...

I'm not in a very good mood right now.
In fact, I don't think I have been for sometime now.
My job is really pissing me off and stressing me out- as well as some of the people I work with....

I STILL have not recieved my yearly review and no mention has been made of it...guess if you don't talk about things- they actually DO go away...
I'm FRUSTRATED because I feel I have such little respect from those I work with- while I feel my position is PIVITAL in making this place run.- I book ALL of the events that take place here, I deal with ALL of the eventholders and bend over backwards in order to assure them their event will be a success. I have ALL of the set-up and detail information surrounding these events. Some occur on a continuous basis, while others are single events...but I deal with them ALL.
I play tetris and chess- trying to find space for all these events to take place- one might think it fun- but it can be quite a challenge- trying to line things up...which room best accomodates this event...hmmm....if I shift this event from this location...then move this other event to this location...then I can fit this one in.
UGH. Most days my head hurts from this job and I don't know what month it is; as I am already booking events for February 2004.

I feel exhausted and like I just don't have the energy to keep ASKING for acknowledgement....give me my review, so I can ask for a raise- so that I may decide if I should seek employment elsewhere. Hell, maybe I should just start looking anyway...any measly increase in salery may not be worth staying.

On top of this, I will be going on "vacation" to Virgina in order to visit my mommy next week. I will be out of the office Friday the 19th, returning Wed. the 24th. My boss has said it is imparative that we sit down and cross train so that others (She's gonna do my job??!!- oh, shit!!) will be able to fill in while I am gone for those three days. She said this to me two weeks ago and still has not scheduled a meeting with me...

I have a feeling I am going to be STRESSED trying to fix things when I come back.

Right now, I hate my job.

MARILYN MANSON Shocking new images revealed

08. February 2003
Kerrang!
London
"Kids and guns is a big issue in society today, especially in America," explains Helnwein," One aspect of these pictures refers to the Columbine High School shootings, when Manson was blamed. And now the whole country is going to war. America worships guns. Every day you hear of child abuse. There are these cases with the Roman Catholic church. We're living in a crazy society. I believe a true artist will always reflect the state society is in."

We got tickets to see Marilyn Manson!!!

This performance is going to kick ass!