Since I was 9 years old (geez- that's 27 years ago!!!) I have been in love with The Runaways. I used to practice drumming to their songs- and 3 years ago was fortinate (for those of you who were there -?!) to meet my drumming hero, Sandy West on my birthday. As well, she was sweet enough to play the old "you say it's your birthday" song.

Two years ago I was lucky enough to see Joan Jett (as a birthday treat) at Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco. I had seen her YEARS ago in D.C.- but NOTHING can compair to seeing a live show at BOTH- especially a performer like Joan! Ever since that show, I have been anxiously awaiting her return...and finally,- it's almost here!!

Christina and I are going to ROCK OUT! And unlike two years ago, this time I think I'll actually say more to her that "great show!"

I am awash in many thoughts feelings and emotions...
My life will never be the same.
Everything is "new" for the first time...
The first time without my mother existing in this world...
I can no longer rely on the comfort, support of just knowing my mother is a phone call away...
I have been realizing this for the last few months, however to visit her gravesite is a pounding reality.
My mother is dead. No longer a living being. She will age no more, have no more experiences in life.
She continues to live thru me, as she is a larger part of me than I ever realized before. I wonder if she ever looked at me and saw herself...I believe she must have as I look at myself...hands...heart and see her.
We do live on thru one another, but I miss her so...